


That one thing in Stockholm

by Yuppu



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M, THIS IS FULL OF FLUFF, read at your own risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuppu/pseuds/Yuppu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one time Barney decided to trust Gunnar again and left to him the details of a deed postponed for much too long.</p>
<p>[Stick this somewhere between EX1 and EX2]</p>
            </blockquote>





	That one thing in Stockholm

That had to be the strangest, most ridiculous thing they ever planned.  
Gunnar flew to Stockholm well before the others to make sure everything would go as it should.  
And for once in his life, he did as he should have and he stayed clean the whole time.  
The rest of the team joined him two days before the thing had to happen.  
Barney and Gunnar had little time to reconnect after the two weeks of separation, as Christmas and Tool - who just could not stay home and wait for the guys to come back and tell him everything - snatched Barney away to polish the details throughout a whole day. This left the rest of them a whole day of preparing themselves just as well.   
Gunnar was a nervous wreck, a shivering, cold-sweating mess of a man.   
But he stayed his ground and he kept himself clean, even in the darkest hour of waiting, when it was clear that Barney would not have joined him in their room for the night.  
He spent the night awake, lying in bed with his eyes wide with doubt. How would he be able to do that? And sober, nonetheless. He hadn’t been that squeaky clean in years and he wasn’t sure his legs wouldn’t betray him and wobble when he should have been standing tall.  
The dawn came anyway, not caring what Gunnar Jensen thought he could or could not do. Toll Road was the first one to knock at his door, poking his head in to make sure he was awake. “You better start preparing, man. You have exactly five minutes to get this thing going.”  
And exactly five minutes later, Hale Caesar followed, barging into the room. “Man, suit up. We have to meet Barney in twenty, remember?”  
Ten minutes later, Gunnar was still laying on his back, not having moved an inch, when Yin Yang entered his room. He said nothing. He did nothing. He just stood there, staring disapprovingly at him.  
“You’re tall make it worth something.” He said, at some point.   
Gunnar took that as a fair warning he had to drag his ass into the shower and then into the suit and within eight minutes he was clean, shaved and ready like he hadn’t been his whole life.  
“Too slow. I’m smaller and I took less time to get ready.”  
“You had less surface to clean and smaller clothes to wear, small man.” Replied Gunnar, walking out of the room as if his pants were on fire.  
The guys almost had trouble following him down the stairs - _faster than the elevator_ , muttered Gunnar, before nearly trampling a couple making their way up - and all the way to the City Hall yard.  
There Gunnar stopped to catch his breath and for a second there he was afraid. _They were supposed to meet here five minutes ago, weren’t they?_  
Caesar leaned over towards Todd and whispered a bit too loud. “Think he got cold feet?”  
Todd elbowed him as Gunnar turned, ready to snap.  
But snap he did not, as he saw Barney, Tool and Christmas making his way into the yard.  
His heart skipped a beat and he could not keep from smiling as wide and crooked as he could.  
“You’re late?”  
“Yeah, well, I had to part with an old friend, it was a very suffered decision.” Replied Barney, trying as much as he could to keep a straight face.  
Gunnar traced the coarse skin where his moustache used to be. “You shaved...”  
“Well, you showered, it only seemed fair I made a significant change too.” Nodded Barney, praying that those blue-tinted glasses Tool stuck on his nose helped him cover up his eyes getting glossy.  
A young woman came down the stair of the entrance and called out, saying the ceremonies would begin in ten minutes.  
For a second, both of them flinched.  
Gunnar reached for Barney’s hand and he found it ready to squeeze his.  
“It’s going to last no more than five minutes, right?”  
“That’s what they told me just about two thousand times.”  
“You’d think we should live through that, yeah?”  
“We should. Don’t you dare having a stroke in the middle of it or I’ll revive you just to strangle you myself, okay?”  
“You’re stalling.”  
“You are too.”  
The team had left them there somewhere in the middle of that and it took them a few seconds to realize it, before Barney took a deep breath and went in, pulling Gunnar with him.

Six minutes and thirty-two seconds later, they went out that same door, still holding hands.  
Gunnar heaved a sigh and nearly collapsed on himself, while Barney huffed in relief.  
“You’d think they’d be jumping up and down after they got married, right?”  
“They’re unconventional, Caesar. They prefer nearly fainting instead.”  
Tool shook his head and pulled a camera from his pocket, motioning the others to take a step back before addressing the newlyweds.  
“Straighten up and smile, you two, nobody died this time!”

And smile they did and they couldn’t keep from doing for the next two days.

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I SWEAR *ZOIDBERGS AWAY*  
> Okay, it is my fault, but I stumbled on [this](http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Sylvester+Stallone+Dolph+Lundgren+Sylvester+oRlWg6jEeKTl.jpg) picture, how could I help myself?  
> And I know weddings are celebrated Saturday in the afternoon, in Stockholm City Hall, but let's just pretend, mmk?


End file.
